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Abby: Boyfriend takes distrust to frightening extremes

DEAR ABBY: I'm madly in love with a man I've been dating for almost a year, but I don't think he's in love with me. He claims he's been hurt twice from two failed marriages.

He keeps giving me mixed signals. He questions me about my male friends constantly. He shows up at my apartment without calling in hopes that he will catch me with another man.

During his last drive-by, he saw me in my car at midnight listening to music while surfing the Web on my phone. Of course, he thought I was on the way out to a boyfriend's house because I had my gym bag and a grocery bag in the front seat with me. He ordered me to open my bags so he could see if I had any overnight clothes inside. After he saw there were no clothes, he calmed down.

I don't know if I should keep this relationship going or if I should abandon ship. Could you please let me know how I should handle my situation? -- Mixed Signals in Virginia

DEAR MIXED SIGNALS: You may be madly in love with this man, but unless you have agreed that your relationship with him is exclusive, he should not be grilling you about your friendships with your male friends. That he comes over with no notice hoping to catch you cheating is more than a little sick, and what he pulled during his midnight prowl is off the charts.

It is important that you understand the only way he will ever overcome his insecurities and inability to trust will be with professional help. He is so messed up that you could enter a convent and he would mount a security camera at the back door to make sure you weren't going out on him.

Not only should you abandon ship, you should run like heck once you reach dry land. Hasn't it occurred to you that this may be the reason two wives left him?

DEAR ABBY: One person handles the money for our family reunion every year. Only that one person knows how much comes in and how much is spent. We all would like copies of the treasurer's report, but he refuses. Is this right for a treasurer of any organization? -- Puzzled Penny in North Carolina

DEAR PENNY: No, it isn't. If you think this relative may be behaving dishonestly, the rest of the family should agree that another individual will receive the monies for the next reunion and provide an accounting when the family is all together again.

Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © 2015 UNIVERSAL UCLICK.

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