DEAR ABBY: My dear friend "Iris" is having her annual Halloween party. Each year I wear a costume I pull together without spending extra money. This year I'll be dressing as a cowgirl, and I have arranged to borrow a few items for the costume.
As a rule, I keep my costume a surprise and don't ask others what they're going to wear. By chance, Iris and I ran errands together and she wanted to pick up her husband's costume while we were out. She chose a cowboy costume.
Before Iris paid for the costume, I told her about mine. She put her husband's costume back and said she'd select something else later.
There was no argument, but I wonder if I was obligated to tell her. Would it have been bad if I had just gone ahead and shown up as a cowgirl without saying anything? -- Wondering in the Wild West
Sign Up and Save
Get six months of free digital access to the Sun Herald
DEAR WONDERING: It would only have been "bad" if Iris had planned to dress as a cowgirl to complement her husband's costume. Personally, I think you did the right thing by being up-front.
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband, "Elliot," for six years, married for two. We're financially stable and have great, supportive families.
One of our biggest issues is that Elliot needs to be emotionally coddled, and I give in to it. It's taxing to be the strong one all the time, and the result is I don't feel as attracted to him. He complains that I'm "not fun" anymore or that I'm a "prude."
Now that I'm pregnant, things have gotten worse. I expected to be treated like a pregnant goddess, but Elliot feels no emotional attachment to our baby and is afraid of becoming a father. I find it hard to deal with because we planned this pregnancy.
Every morning he tells me he loves me. Now I ask him, "Are you sure?" to which he replies, "Of course!" Is he lying? Should I confront him about the journal entry even though I invaded his privacy? -- Pregnant Goddess in Pennsylvania
DEAR PREGNANT GODDESS: Recognize that Elliot is less emotionally mature than you are, which is why you have been stuck in the role of being "the strong one." Once the baby comes, you will have less time to coddle him, which may make him jealous. People have good days and bad ones. Your husband may have been having a bad one when he wrote what you read.
Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © 2015 UNIVERSAL UCLICK.