Brian Allee-Walsh

Here's a few new jingles for Peyton Manning ahead of Super Bowl 50

Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning watches the AFC championship trophy presentation following the NFL football AFC Championship game between the Denver Broncos and the New England Patriots, Sunday, Jan. 24, 2016, in Denver. The Broncos defeated the Patriots 20-18 to advance to the Super Bowl. (AP Photo/Joe Mahoney)
Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning watches the AFC championship trophy presentation following the NFL football AFC Championship game between the Denver Broncos and the New England Patriots, Sunday, Jan. 24, 2016, in Denver. The Broncos defeated the Patriots 20-18 to advance to the Super Bowl. (AP Photo/Joe Mahoney) AP

Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has found a (lucrative) niche as a national TV spokesman for Nationwide Insurance, putting words to the company's catchy jingle/slogan ... "Nationwide Is On Your Side."

You know the commercial:

  • He crouches under center and sings for the ball ... "50 Omaha set hut ..."
  • He sits in an ice bath and croons ... "Losing feeling in my toes ..."
  • He's driving in a luxury sedan and breaks into melody ..."Nothing beats that new car smell ..."

How can I say this in a nice way: Ol' No. 18 may not be able to carry a tune in a bucket but it's hard to get the jingle out of one's head.

With Super Bowl 50 still 11 days out and nothing but oodles of time on my hands, I've decided to put words in Manning's mouth and come up with a few Nationwide jingles of my own.

Getting you in the mood ... first sing ... "Nationwide Is On Your Side" ... now hum the melody ... "hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm!"

And away we go!

-- -- --

Picture Manning preparing to run out of the tunnel at Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, Calif., on Super Bowl Sunday.

"Getting way too old for this."

"But my bank account looks so good!"

-- -- --

Picture a nattily dressed Manning sitting in the audience at the NFL Honors Award Show (Feb. 6, 8 p.m. CBS) the night before Super Bowl 50.

"Cam can be the league MVP."

"But we will win the Lom-bar-di."

-- -- --

Picture Manning going over the game plan with Broncos coach Gary Kubiak and backup quarterback Brock Osweiler.

"What's with all this option stuff?"

"Maybe you should put Brock in there."

"Oh that's right, you've tried it once."

"And it didn't work out so good."

"So let me do things my own way."

"And you'll be happy at end of day."

-- -- --

Picture Manning at pre-game meal with father Archie, mother Olivia and brothers Cooper and Eli.

"Thanks for everything you guys."

"Now's the time for my surprise."

"Whatever happens on game day."

"It's time for me to step away."

-- -- --

Picture three seconds remain in Super Bowl 50. Carolina leads 24-20. Denver has the ball at the Panthers 1. Time for one final play, perhaps the last play of Manning's brilliant career.

Carolina calls timeout to plot its defensive strategy. Manning and Kubiak huddle on the sideline. CBS goes to a commercial featuring Manning and Nationwide.

In the commercial, Manning looks off in a distant sky.

"Prepared myself for times like this."

"If we score, we win the game."

"If we don't, there is no shame."

"Soon I'll be in the Hall of Fame."

Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm!

Brian Allee-Walsh, a long-time Saints reporter based in New Orleans, can be reached at sports@sunherald.com.

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