TOMMY SNELL: A week of Preparation
Golf balls unwrapped, drivers unleashed and putters perfected. Christmas has holed its last putt, so what do golfers do before New Year's fireworks hit the fairways? Thoughts of resolutions tee off as incredulous galleries lean over the ropes, waiting to golf clap for anything that sounds like an original idea.
Golfers have an entire week before the hot dogs and beer are left in the cart barn. They should make the most of it. Former flat-bellies and slim-fit mediums should enjoy the week of snacks at the turn without reservation knowing that January 1st will suck up the beverage cart's charge.
Before linksters camp out in their gyms and on their treadmills, they should take advantage of the opportunity to pig out on Nathan's and Cheetos. Nothing soothes a double-double front-nine finish like a mustard-covered dog, chips and a candy bar. Nothing!
Nutrition is a four-letter word on the golf course. Golfers should enjoy the many treats that halfway houses have to offer, regardless of the detrimental effect fat and sugar grams have on a back-nine score. Holiday golf is not about score. Hedonists don't keep a card.
Okay, so this cynical view of upcoming resolutions might be hyperbole, but as hackneyed visions of gymnasiums and workout routines dance in my head, I can't help but scathingly think about what golfers will anticipate after Christmas and New Year's dinners have expanded their knickers.
Why? Because I'm one of them. I have to do better. Why wait until December to begin a good routine. My nephew rode his sleigh down to his gymnasium on Christmas morning because his three-days-on-and-one-off routine doesn't stop for Santa. That's commitment.
Before Christmas, jewelry and fragrance ads filled the screen. Now, six-pack-abs machine commercials and stretch-off-the-pounds billboards will saturate marketing strategies. Forget all the advertisements.
Next week, I'll offer some resolutions that just might last until next holiday season. In the meantime, order that double bypass burger at the turn.
Tommy Snell, golf coach at Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College, writes a column for the Sun Herald.
This story was originally published December 27, 2015 at 12:48 PM with the headline "TOMMY SNELL: A week of Preparation ."