New year means a new game for Golf

Tommy Snell
Tommy Snell

Promises, promises. New Year’s resolutions are as pragmatic as 55” drivers, last as long as a TopFlite golf ball at the island green and are simpler to make than a Nathan’s hotdog at the turn.

Maybe that’s why golfers love to boast about their pledges and hate to hit their shots fat.

Since November, Peloton stationary bicycles, NordicTrack and Bowflex trainers, medicine balls and dumbbells have flexed their best advertisement muscles, trying to motivate Mr. Couch Potato with luscious bodies and abs as hard as epoxy.

Just once, I’d like to see flab bouncing around on a treadmill on GMA or maybe totally overweight Christie Brinkley and Chuck Norris trying to work off a shag bag on a Total Gym.

So most golfers will resolve to lose weight and create more flexibility. Workout machines and ab crunchers are flying into households faster than Starfighters are crossing the screen in Rogue One. Planet Fitness $10 memberships are selling faster than hats, mittens, and scarfs in the Midwest.

Enough of this incredulous outlook for 2017. Let’s tackle these resolutions more quickly than an Alabama D-Line. Some decisions just might last past Easter, and that’s an accomplishment. Golf is hard. Losing weight is harder. Yes, I said it. Losing weight is harder than golf.

Tom Brady plays golf. He also plays quarterback. When he slides under center next week, nobody will be thinking about his diet, except him.

Brady’s personal chef Allen Campbell on said: “80 percent of what they eat is vegetables. If it’s not organic, I don’t use it. And whole grains: brown rice, quinoa, millet, beans. The other 20 percent is lean meats: grass-fed organic steak, duck every now and then, and chicken. As for fish, I mostly cook wild salmon.”

No wonder Brady has almost enough rings to fill out his throwing hand. He eats no white sugar or white flour. Brady and his supermodel wife, Gisele Bundchen, use Himalayan pink salt, never iodized. No caffeine. No dairy. Some people profess that cancer can’t live in an alkaline state.

Maybe that’s why he eats “80 percent alkaline and 20 percent acidic,” quoted Des Bieler from a Sports Illustrated article.

So there you have it. One of the greatest athletes eating what’s good for him, his receivers, his running backs and his fans. Maybe that’s where golfers need to start. Put down the Nathan’s hot dog at the turn and pick up a quinoa bar. Fat chance! Did I say fat?

Tommy Snell, golf coach at Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College, writes a column for the Sun Herald.