Conservative’s dilemma

I despise those liberal guys

away out in the West.

But I sure like the toys they make

I think they are the best.

My cell phone and my Macintosh

I could not do without

Those guys think outside the box

of that there is no doubt.

An awful thought just came to me:

Could there be some connection

between the way that liberals think

and their talent for invention?

It’s true that they abhor constraint;

it borders on sedition

I guess that attitude’s required

when you’re breaking with tradition.

But that’s just wrong in politics,

in daily living, too.

We must revere the proven ways

and be wary of the new.

Unless the new’s an iPhone

For that, I’ll make exception.

Because I can’t wait forever,

for a conservative’s invention.

This story was originally published December 20, 2017 at 5:00 AM with the headline "Conservative’s dilemma."