Colton Underwood’s coming out story is a reality for many MS kids. Are you listening?
His voice quivered. He gasped for air. He swallowed hard.
Then he said. Those two words he’s been avoiding since he was in high school.
Colton Underwood told “Good Morning America” host Robin Roberts: “I’m gay.”
Underwood, a “Bachelor” star and former NFL player, came out to Robin Roberts in an interview that aired Wednesday morning on “GMA”.
Since then, “Bachelor” co-stars and love interests from Underwood’s season have posted their support for him on social media.
“I’ve ran from myself for a long time. I’ve hated myself for a long time,” Underwood said. “And I’m gay, and I came to terms with it earlier this year.”
Underwood paused and took a breath, telling Roberts the public was the next step in his journey to find peace.
“I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life, and that means the world to me,” he said.
The announcement comes after Underwood made headlines last year when his ex-girlfriend, Cassie Randolph, filed a domestic violence restraining order against him, saying Underwood had put a tracking device on her car and would frequently come to her apartment and her parents’ home unannounced.
Randolph, who was the winner of Underwood’s “Bachelor” season, later dropped the order, according to People. Underwood addressed his actions with Roberts on Wednesday, apologizing to Randolph.
“I wish that I would’ve been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anybody else,” he said.
I watched Underwood’s season, and am a casual “Bachelor” Nation groupie. I watch the seasons, text with friends in group chats, make my “Bachelor Bracket,” and almost always spoil each season by reading Reality Steve.
What I wasn’t expecting was how triggering Underwood’s interview would be. I first thought about how he chose to tell his story to Roberts, an openly gay woman from Pass Christian. My hometown of Bay St. Louis is just across a 2-mile bridge.
From there, every part of the interview took me back in time:
- Where his voice quivered on TV, my voice cracked when I told my mom after visiting my grandfather’s grave in the cemetery where my family members are buried.
- When he said the word “gay” was used as a derogatory term in sports, I remember being called slurs as a cheerleader in middle school.
- He grew up conservative and Catholic, and I remember crying in my room at night, asking God to change who I was so I didn’t feel like a hypocrite at church.
Colton is one person. But his story is not uncommon. They’re a reality for many children questioning their sexuality or trying to process and emote those two words that are often too hard to say.
In places such as Mississippi, the odds are often stacked against you. We’ve dealt with anti-LGBTQ laws that allow businesses to legally discriminate against gay people. Most recently, the Legislature passed a bill that would ban transgender athletes from competing in high school and college sports unless they play with their birth-assigned gender.
And while Colton may have 2 million Instagram followers and live in California, his story is hauntingly similar to stories many of us have heard in Mississippi. And I often wonder: Are you listening? Are we listening?
Toward the end of the interview with Roberts, Colton said his father asked why he didn’t tell him sooner, followed by “How can I help?”
Parents, are you prepared to talk with your child if they come out? Ask yourself these questions:
- How would you respond if your child came out today? Would your response affect your relationship with your child in a positive or negative way?
- Do you think your child would be comfortable with coming out to you or asking questions about the LGBTQ community? If the answer is no, are you working to find a solution?
- Do you use LGBTQ language in a derogatory way when reprimanding your children?
- Have you created a safe space and open door policy for your child?
- Are you ready to be an advocate for your child if they come out?
I hope one day a celebrity coming out as gay won’t have to be a breaking news story. But until every child in the world feels safe and secure, stories like Colton’s are important to tell.
Resources for LGBTQ parents in Mississippi”
- PFLAG Gulfport
- PFLAG Jackson
- The Gulf Coast Equality Council
- Education and resources from The Trevor Project
- Human Rights Campaign Mississippi
Justin Mitchell is an editor at the Sun Herald and often reports and editorializes on issues facing the LGBTQ community in Mississippi.
This story was originally published April 14, 2021 at 5:48 PM.
