Sorry Jade Helm, but Bob Weir controls the weather

I was wondering how the fringe would reconcile the need for a benevolent federal government to come to the aid of flooded Texas  with the fear the tyrannical federal government is about to invade Texas under the guise of Jade Helm.

This morning, I have my answer. The floods were weather warfare. Yes, just part of Jade Helm. You see how it works, right. The troops are in place. They only seem to be providing flood relief when they're really just waiting for the Wal-Mart staging areas/FEMA camps to be finished.

My indisputable source: All News Pipeline, which has a pretty good source as well -- the United Nations. But, you shout, the U.N. is the enemy. Ah, yes, the UN as bogeyman. That is so the day before yesterday. Apparently.

However, I have some bad news for them. We all know who really manages the weather. Bob Weir. And here's my source.