Transgender woman says Florida bar threw her out after using bathroom. ‘Belittling’

The evening began as a fun night out to celebrate a friend’s 40th birthday, Piper Ayres told McClatchy News. But before it was over, Ayres, who is a transgender woman, said she was discriminated against and thrown out of a bar after she used a women’s restroom.

The night

Ayres, 40, was at the Dixie Roadhouse in Cape Coral, Florida, about 160 miles northwest of Miami, with a group of friends on Sept. 2 when she noticed staff were treating her differently than they were other patrons.

At one point, when she exited and re-entered the bar, she said a person at the front door asked her to put a coat on over her halter top, which left her shoulders exposed. Later in the evening, after using the women’s restroom for a second time, Ayres said an employee of the bar approached her and said something about how she was dressed.

She then spoke with a manager who she said repeatedly called her a man.

“They didn’t have anything to say to me until I came out of the bathroom,” Ayres said. “They came over and picked on me ... The only thing (the manager) could say is I was a man.”

Ayres said he then told her to leave the bar.

“It was belittling,” she said.

Ayres said she left for a little while before going back inside for a few minutes, after which security guards escorted her out.

“It’s like I had no dignity,” Ayres said. “They just didn’t care. They had their way of thinking, and that was that.”

Dixie Roadhouse posted a statement on its Facebook page that says it is an “all-inclusive” establishment and references a sign posted on its front door that reads, “If you are racist, sexist, homophobic, or just a jerk … don’t come in.”

“We have two private restrooms that our transgender guests use often,” the statement says. “In addition, our multiple security camera angles and incident reports from this interaction indicate that the situation involving Piper Ayers simply did not happen as it was described to the media.”

When asked for copies of the incident reports, David Townsend, a spokesman for Dixie Roadhouse, said that the establishment doesn’t release incident reports or videos “except to the police or by court order.”

“The safety and comfort of our guests is paramount to us and we will address anyone that disrupts the party, makes other guests uncomfortable, or is rude or confrontational with our staff, regardless of their sexual orientation,” the statement says.

But Ayres said the entire experience, which included an argument in the parking lot with managers, left her feeling anxious and more wary about going out in public.

“To be treated like an outsider, like a disease or something … it just made me feel very small,” she said. “It takes hope away from you, and it takes your joy … It just makes me second-guess myself, and it’s just not right.”

Bias against transgender people

Many transgender people report experiencing bias, discrimination or harassment especially around using restrooms, according to the U.S. Transgender Survey, which was last conducted in 2015 and surveyed 28,000 people.

Around 12% of respondents said they were harassed, attacked or sexually assaulted while accessing a restroom within the prior year, and about 24% said someone had questioned or challenged their presence in a restroom.

In 2016, at least 23 states passed laws restricting transgender people’s access to public bathrooms, according to the report.

In Florida in 2020, a court ruled that a school district had unconstitutionally discriminated against a transgender boy when it didn’t allow him to use the boy’s bathroom at school, according to Courthouse News Service.

Coming out as transgender

Ayressaid that as a kid in the 1980s, being part of the LGBTQ community wasn’t widely accepted.

“You play football or you cheerlead - well, I wanted to do both, and I couldn’t,” she said. “I knew I was different than the regular boys when I was in elementary school.”

But Ayres said she didn’t feel like she could talk openly to her parents. She didn’t fully come out as transgender until she was around 35 years old and started hormone replacement therapy, also known as gender-affirming hormone therapy, a process that helps a person gain physical characteristics that match their gender identity.

“Now, I live my life as who I’m supposed to be,” she said.

Ayres, who works as a construction worker, said she often deals with stares and comments from people, especially working in a male-dominated environment. But she said she hopes that by sharing her story, she can help raise awareness about the transgender experience.

“They have to become more aware of the way other people feel because their words hurt,” she said, “and that could cause more harm to that person than they can imagine.”

This story was originally published September 8, 2022 at 1:16 PM with the headline "Transgender woman says Florida bar threw her out after using bathroom. ‘Belittling’."