By the Way

Pokemon Go can just go far, far away

Pokemon Go is the latest “it” thing, you know, that “thing” that everyone is talking about. It's a free app that is available for the iPhone and Android platforms.

It is part of the popular Japanese media franchise “Pokemon,” which includes animated shows and even a theme park. The object of the game is to catch Pokemons by navigating between the real world and the virtual world.

As someone who covers entertainment and pop culture, among other things, I felt that I need to head into the mouth of the beast and get some firsthand experience with Pokemon Go. My curiosity was piqued when I heard some of my colleagues talking about it during a weekend shift. An assignment was made regarding the news aspect of Pokemon.

But I wanted to experience this phenomena for myself.

I tried on Sunday to download the app and even this proved to be troublesome. You don't get to become the hottest app in the world without a glitch or two. I assume Sunday was a big day for downloads of the app as the system crashed every time I tried to download it.

Finally, around 10 p.m., I had successfully downloaded Pokemon Go and was well on my way to catching some “Pokies.”

One of the first things I was asked to do, through as series of onscreen prompts, was name my Pokemon trainer, well, this was after I was allowed to change my trainer's appearance. I went with the purple hair and orange jumpsuit because ... why not.

I wanted to give my trainer a name like LoneWolf or NightHawk or WolfMother, but all of these were taken. So, I decided to go with Ringo Superstarr.

The screen then asked me if it could access my camera and suddenly, from out of nowhere, there was a (curse words) Pokemon in my house. Seriously. I caught my first (and only) Pokemon in my own home.

Where did this thing come from and why was it in my house? Are there other apparitions and haunts and goblins in my house that I don't know about?

So, I captured the Pokemon, which was not even Pikachu, and that was that. Then the game wanted me to go out and search for more Pokemons and meet people and join a team and so on.

Yeah. That's not going to happen. I have no desire to meet new people and talk about cool Pokemons. I also don't want to be the next person that's looking for Pokemons and finds a dead body or gets jumped by robbers.

In far less time than it took to download the app, my hour or so of living the Pokemon Go dream had vanished.

I told my wife that I don't have time for this nonsense as I simultaneously turned on Sunday night's episode of “The Preacher” while I thumbed through a “Star Lord “ comic while playing “Angry Birds: Star Wars” and taking time to do a snap on Snapchat with the Coachella filter so I could look dreamy with a crown of flowers.

“Yeah, you really don't,” she replied.