Get in, losers, we’re going to vote.
Who is going to be the next president of the United States? The claws are out this election cycle, and one thing is sure — nobody is getting their pink shirts back. That’s right, the only colors we’re seeing until November are red, white and blue.
To this millennial, it’s unclear if what we’ve been seeing is a presidential election or a remake of “Mean Girls.”
Allow me to explain. But we’ll have to take a trip back to January.
There I was, new to a political rally. Not knowing what to expect, I packed up my camera and a pack of peanut butter crackers and a water to eat by myself as the audience filed in the Coast Coliseum. You can just call me Cady Heron. I mean, I’m not a ginger, but we can’t always have everything we want, can we?
Queen Bee Donald Trump is in the running, and he plans on taking all of the votes from Glen Coco. Sorry — there are still none for Gretchen Wieners, also known in this blog as Hillary Clinton. Sorry, girl, pantsuits are Donald’s thing. Donald Trump wore a Make America Great Again hat, so I wore a Make America Great Again hat.
Much like the tables in the lunch room that divided the jocks and sexually active band geeks, Trump has said he wants to build a wall on the United States border with Mexico to keep illegal immigrants out of the country. He’s also had a beef with the media and said he would consider surveillance at mosques, throwing a jab at Muslim Americans. In Biloxi, he said he would get rid of Common Core educational curriculum and criticized a CNN videographer, saying he refused to pan his camera and show the crowd of thousands that showed up to cheer for him on the Mississippi Coast.
At that moment, as the crowd cheered while he berated the CNN videographer, I felt like the press pit was actually the bathroom stall Cady Heron ate lunch in on her first day of high school after being a home-school student in Africa.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by Regina George. Cady Heron raises her hand.
Now, Donald Trump may not really be in the running for Regina George’s character in the hypothetical and completely made-up “Mean Girls 2.0: 2016 Election” sequel, but I think I make a strong argument for why Trump would be the perfect Regina George.
This blog represents the opinions of Throwing Shade writer Justin Mitchell and is not a political endorsement.