Throwing Shade

Here's what happens when you delete all of your dating apps

Justin Mitchell

jmitchell@sunherald.com

Follow me on Twitter

This screenshot shows an Apple Store preview of the dating app Tinder.
This screenshot shows an Apple Store preview of the dating app Tinder.

Growing up gay in a small town is hard, but I'm sure you've already heard that story in some form or fashion.

For an LGBT millennial living in Mississippi, dating is tough. Without the use of smartphones -- it could be nonexistent.

Young gay men don't seem to frequent the LGBT-friendly bars anymore. And when there is an event that draws the community out, almost everyone seems to be glued to their phones.

I would know. I was one of those people. Let's get dressed up on a Wednesday, go to the bar, and then get on an app to see who was at the bar. More than once, I would send or receive messages from someone who was at the same place as me.

Why? Is this our culture? There are plenty of other things are smartphones can be used for. The technology of dating apps has ruined the beauty of a personal conversation.

Chances are, I'm not going to ask you about your mama and them after we match on Tinder. Dating apps, after all, seem to be less about dating and more about hooking up.

Then, there's the time you spend managing your profile. Five minutes scrolling here, three minutes typing there, 30 minutes spent trying to send a photo that looks better than your profile picture. Don't forget to be a little scandalous. Suck your belly in. Make your arm look toned. Angle your face so it looks skinny. Then, hit send to someone you've never met who could be a Catfish or a robot. That makes so much sense.

Three hours later, you've traveled down the rabbit hole of online dating. And don't act like you haven't done it -- almost everyone has participated in some form of online dating app if you've been single since 2013. Swipe left, swipe right, swipe left, swipe right, super like. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Since deleting dating apps from my phone, I've made more time to read, clean and actually join conversations with friends when we're out together, rather than just stare at my phone to see if John Doe is 50 feet away. I don't have to constantly worry about who may or may not be sending me messages.

And when you meet someone you like, there's really no need for the apps anyway. Am I right?

  Comments