Throwing Shade

Newsflash: I don't care about the McGangBang, and 'secret menus' are a click scheme

The media reports a “secret menu” was leaked from McDonald's, and the Internet exploded. I was hoping that it would be raining golden arch fries outside when I left for a lunch break, but it was just rain. What a letdown.

Several new sources also said the menu was revealed by an “anonymous manager,” but that's a blog post for another day.

Basically, the "secret menu" at McDonald's is a headline you want to click, but it's nothing you haven't seen before.

Newsflash: I don't care about the McGangBang. I also have no desire to eat a cheeseburger on top of a fish filet on top of a spicy fried chicken breast sandwiched in between three buns. If I want to have a heart attack, I can just order all three of them separately.

A lot of my friends order the cheaper version of the Big Mac by just selecting a double cheeseburger and adding the special sauce. Want Oreos and M&M's in your McFlurry? I bet they can handle that. In today's world of dining out, the customer is usually always right, unless you're just being a jerk. You can have it your way almost anywhere, not just at Mickey D's competitor's drive-through window. All you have to do ask.

The real question we should be asking McDonald's is how in the world they get their fountain drinks to taste so heavenly. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if we found a McDonald's fountain machine and a Sal and Mookie's pizza parlor on the other side of the pearly gates.

And if you think I'm crazy, just go grab a fountain Coke on your way home this evening. You won't be sorry.