I'll go ahead and paint a big ol' bull's-eye on my back.
Donald Trump supporters should love me, though, because "I'm going to tell it like it is." I couldn't count the number of Trump fans who've told me "he speaks his mind," or "he tells it like it is" or "he says things that need to be said" when asked why they think he should be president. So they're going to love this.
A lot of those "things that need to be said" wilt under the teeniest scrutiny. The Great Wall of the United States is one example. Trump says it will make the Great Wall of China look "not so great." He says he'll be able to build it because "I'm a builder."
One sage in the construction trade doubts Trump could build a dog house. That makes me, having built three dog houses in my lifetime, more qualified to talk about wall-building than Trump.
The Great Wall of China was built with forced labor -- most likely by the poor, by criminals and by soldiers. Could this be what Trump means when he says he'll take care of the troops?
Trump says he'll build a bigger one and make Mexico pay for it.
Mexico, being a sovereign nation, doesn't have to listen to Trump and it isn't. Its leaders are mostly giving him the doesn't-merit-a-response treatment. And as for his incongruous claim that Mexico's leaders are sharper than ours, a simple comparison of economies or a look at the drug violence raging there suggests otherwise.
Trump likes to wave his arms as if to suggest all the implausibilities of his ideas -- such as the cost of a 1,000-mile-long concrete wall deep enough and tall enough to repel a wave of humanity that has long since subsided -- would disappear under the spell of his magic wand.
The same goes with "bombing the hell out of IS." By early December, the U.S. had dropped 200,000 bombs on Syria, which I presume amounts to only bombing the "heck" out of the country.
Much does not add up
The list of Trumpisms that don't add up is long and life is short.
Trump's bluster works only on those who are scared. And if I were scared, this column would be on "best techniques for pinning butterflies."
It's not working on the press, either. Trump doesn't like an independent media pointing out simple truths and should you disagree with him, as New Hampshire Union Leader Publisher Joe McQuaid did, you're a lowlife. Other media outlets, as Trump told the Biloxi crowd Jan. 2, are crooked.
In Biloxi, Trump also fired up the crowd by telling it the media would never show the size of the crowd. That is one big baloney sandwich.
I've seen the cameras pan the crowd. I've seen crowd numbers reported just as Trump claimed, as incredible as the claim sounded. And I -- and Trump -- both know how TV works.
Trump made a big deal out of a single cameraman who wouldn't bend to The Donald's will and turn his camera to show the crowd. Trump knows the networks have more than one camera at these events and each has a specific assignment.
I know he's factually impaired when he tells a crowd TV never shows a crowd. I can imagine the tantrum Trump would throw should the cameras show the crowd but not him.
Trump knows this, yet he chose to stoke the crowd's anger toward a single cameraman in a crowd of media types. That's a dangerous game and one that could backfire faster than you can say Tea Party.
Stoking the fear factor
Trump's campaign feeds on fears. Fears that the fella sitting next to you at the food court could be a Muslim. Fears that the Hispanic guy on the road-repair crew has his eyes on your job. Fears that the fantasy land you imagine the country once was is gone forever. Fears that some wise guy with a keyboard might splatter truth all over your favorite candidate.
Unfortunately for Trump, most of us aren't afraid. Just over 62 percent in the GOP alone are picking someone other than Trump.
Yet, as he repeats over and over, he leads the polls (at 35 percent nationally among the GOP).
The Democrats can barely contain their glee.
Contact Paul Hampton, politics editor at the Sun Herald, at 896-2330 or firstname.lastname@example.org. You can follow him on Twitter @jpaulhampton.