Time to separate the man from girl

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DEAR ABBY: I am the father of a 12-year-old daughter, “Lia.” She catches an early-morning bus for school, and I leave for work at the same time, so I’m in charge of getting her ready in the morning.

Although we have two bathrooms, neither of us wants to use the downstairs bathroom. All our stuff is upstairs.

When I wake Lia up each morning, she heads into the shower and I go feed the dog. I then go into the bathroom and shave while she’s in the shower. We discuss sports and life in general. When I’m finished, I leave until she’s done showering and goes back into her room. I then take my shower.

Is this wrong? Lia’s mother thinks it’s inappropriate for me to be in the bathroom at all while she’s taking a shower. Who’s right? — Right or Wrong

DEAR RIGHT OR WRONG: Your wife is correct. It’s not a matter of right or wrong. It’s what is appropriate.

At 12, your daughter is becoming a young woman. Either you or Lia needs to start using the downstairs bathroom. If you can’t agree on who that will be, then draw straws. You can bond over breakfast.

DEAR ABBY: My old college roommate “Gina” and I live several states apart, but we have remained close over the years. Whenever I call her, her husband picks up an extension and listens in. We don’t know he’s listening until he says something. Other times, he’ll stand next to her and constantly interrupt her while we’re talking. He has his own friends and hobbies, and Gina does not know why he keeps butting in.

I have spoken to him when she is unavailable to make him feel involved, but this three-way conversation is bugging me. Since Gina appears to be unable to tell him to cut it out, what should I do? — Miffed in Madison

DEAR MIFFED: I see no reason why you shouldn’t tell Gina — whether her husband is listening or not — how intrusive you feel her husband’s eavesdropping is and you would like your conversations to be private. After that, it will be up to her to decide where to draw the line.

Write Dear Abby,at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.