Your Life

Friday, Nov. 06, 2009

Too many things can put a squeeze on you

It’s a lock. My life has been a series of lock-ins and lock-outs lately. I’m not kidding. It’s a bit stifling. It’s hard to explain. I’ll try to lock it down for you in one crazy tale. It might be along the order of, “You might have had to have been there” stories.

I’m a bargain shopper from way back. On one of my buying outings I found the buy of the week in a cute little top. It was like getting two shirts for the price of one. There was a T-shirt built right into the top, and it was 50 percent off an already marked down price. As money exchanged hands and the top was bagged, it was an exciting moment in my purchasing history.

This cute little top solved a “what do I wear dilemma” as I had a dinner date. When I put the thing on, it crossed my mind that the undershirt was a tad snug around the waist, but ladies you all know we sacrifice comfort for a bargain and cute. So, off I went sporting my latest deal.

After downing a very filling meal, I began to sense a strange tightening sensation. It was as if my top had taken on a life of its own. I felt of the undershirt. It was just as I thought. The thing was alive. It was living and breathing spandex and a boa constrictor was its mama. The crazy top was suddenly attempting to squeeze the life out of me.

Needless to say I began to have the first panic attack I think I’ve ever experienced in public. Not pretty, y’all. My face had begun contorting as well as turning brilliant shades of red, verging on purple. Unattractive sweat beads formed on my forehead. Lack of oxygen to my brain was causing my thinking to become muddled. I couldn’t explain what was happening. It was definitely turning into a squeeze play.

So, I ran out of the place. I just know my guy, the one I was trying to impress, was scared. Scared he was going to have to call Jeff Foxworthy and say, “You might be with a redneck if … .” The “if” being a trusty little pocket knife I’d found in the Cape. I took that sucker and modestly, but with purpose, sat in the truck in the parking lot and let her rip the front of that T-shirt in two. Aaaah! What a relief.

The “that’ll preach” was released as well. For a fraction of the cost, we get ourselves locked into some crazy jams. Since economics is a topic that’s got us all in a squeeze, financially speaking, I’ll go there. Life can become about spending a buck to save a dollar, looking good and trying to impress. If that’s not your category maybe it’s spending a buck you don’t have to look good in that new car, house, you name it. The finance company owns them and the squeeze play is on. Life can put a mean squeeze on us, but we can be cut free. Free to breathe again.

It takes some surgery and Scripture’s like a wizened knife that cuts a road of truth. It addresses most life-suckers head-on . . . “a borrower is a servant to the lender” type thing.

The Bible is alive, a powerful two-edged sword that doesn’t constrict, but cuts us free and brings wisdom. It’s the tried and true remedy. My prescription says to read a Proverb a day, let it soak in and apply. Now, that’s a lock, y’all, with a key to freedom. Free, free at last.

Kandi Anderson, a freelance writer, also speaks on the topics of faith and values.