WOMAN'S LACK OF EXPERIENCE MAKES HER RELUCTANT TO COMMIT
Dear Abby: I have been in a relationship with my high school sweetheart for six years. He is only the second person I have been intimate with. I love him and am pretty sure that we will end up marrying. Neither of us has ever cheated.
The problem is that I'm having doubts about my lack of experience with other men. I'm not saying I want to sleep around with random men, but I would like to experience intimacy with someone else so I won't wonder "what if" when I am older and married. Am I wrong for this? -- CONFUSED IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CONFUSED: I don't think you are "wrong," but your question does make me wonder whether you are ready to settle down. If your sex life were as fulfilling as you would like it to be, you wouldn't be asking if you are wrong for wanting more. Level with your boyfriend about your feelings to see if you can work this out. However, if the answer is no, then both of you may want to move on.
DEAR ABBY: We are friends with a couple who married five months ago. My husband, "Ian," was one of the groomsmen, so we were deeply involved with wedding details a long time prior to the wedding. Ian and the groom, "Claude," are now on the same team at work.
Since the wedding, Claude spends a lot of time talking about his wife to anyone within earshot and on social media to the point of excess. (The bride is "perfect, beautiful, lovely" and he's "so lucky to be married to her," etc.) Everyone on the team works overtime every night because Claude posts love notes to his wife all day. The team supervisor talked to my husband about it, and asked him to cover Claude's workload because of his pre-wedding and now post-wedding bliss.
I have filtered the guy's posts and stopped reading, but Ian feels stuck in the middle at the office. He needs Claude to get his head back in the game and work. How can my husband gently communicate that this is affecting Claude's job performance and driving everyone batty? Ian is afraid that if he complains to the supervisor, his friend will feel betrayed. -- OVERLOADED IN ALABAMA
DEAR OVERLOADED: The matter should be brought to the attention of their supervisor so the supervisor can handle it before it becomes a morale problem. What's going on is unprofessional and unfair to the other team members. The supervisor should tell Ian's besotted friend that the time he's spending messaging his bride has increased the workload on everyone else, the honeymoon is over, and he needs to get his mind back on the tasks at hand.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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