Abby: Child still resents parents who skipped graduation

July 10, 2014 

DEAR ABBY: When I was a child, my parents skipped my elementary school graduation. For that matter, everyone did. My grandfather had just died, so Mom was mourning his loss. Fast-forward a few years -- nobody attended my junior high graduation, either.

Well, my younger siblings just graduated from elementary school, and my parents have again skipped the event due to their work schedules. A mix of emotions is resurfacing for me. I'm angry and frustrated. I'm 26 now, and a long time has passed since they disappointed me, but I guess I haven't ever truly forgiven them for missing those events. After all, these are once-in-a-lifetime milestones for a child, right?

Am I justified in feeling anger toward my parents for deciding to miss not only my graduations, but also those of my younger siblings? Should I talk to them or let it go? -- Reliving It in California

DEAR RELIVING IT: How has your relationship with your parents been otherwise? If they have always been loving and supportive in other ways, then perhaps you shouldn't be so hard on them. When I was young, there were high school and college graduation ceremonies with cap, gown and diploma, but none for children leaving elementary school or junior high.

Frankly, I think that multiple graduation ceremonies -- while they may make cute photo-ops -- dilute the importance of the one from high school. If you want to "do something," rather than vent your anger at your parents, it would be more constructive if you made a point of attending your siblings' graduations in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I'm hoping you can resolve a disagreement between my wife and me. She insists on placing knives in the drying rack with the sharp ends pointing up. I insist this is a safety issue and the knives should be placed pointing down (or dried immediately). My wife counters that this will dull the points and that drying with a towel will dull the blades. I know it sounds trivial, but we argue about it every day. Can you help resolve our disagreement? -- Looking for Resolution

DEAR LOOKING: Please stop arguing. I think the solution would be for your wife to be the person who puts the knives away.

Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © 2014 UNIVERSAL UCLICK.

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